Saturday, January 12, 2008

The Laundry List of How (not) To Do Laundry

How to Help Mommy with the Laundry (and have a little fun along the way):

*Enthusiasm for getting to help Mommy is best displayed by jumping up and down and screaming at the top of our lungs.

*Rain dances are entertaining and just might help us sort those pesky whites from the even peskier darks.

*Draping clothes over a red plastic golf club is the cleverest way to help navigate them toward the washer. It's also the best way to stretch out the activity when we could be doing something else, like taking a nap.

*When the previous method fails and Mommy is wedged between the washer and the dryer trying to retrieve uncooperative clothing, her bottom can be used as a tom-tom drum. And in a pinch, the red golf club makes a handy drumstick.

*Climbing into the dryer -- in spite of Mommy's loud protests -- is the most effective way to remove clothing from said appliance.

*Pushing as many buttons as fast as you can makes the washer and dryer do funny things like rock back and forth and emit grinding noises. It's also the quickest a way to make Mommy's eyes bulge out of her head.

*Never, ever, under any circustance repeat Mommy quoting Macbeth. Something about a spot on a dam.

The End

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