Sunday, November 25, 2018

Moving Forward After Divorce

Moving forward after tragedy is difficult. Recovering from divorce and battling loneliness is no different. Here are a few ideas I've tried and gleaned from others.

Be flexible and above all patient – with yourself, (yes, even with your former spouse), with your children, friends and extended family members. You are all learning how to navigate this new way of living. None of you are going to do this perfectly. It takes time and repetition to get right the intricacies of living divorced. Grief isn’t suddenly “gotten over” and we all take our own time and way to heal. There's no magic formula or one-size-fits-all.

Friends who've not experienced divorce or a great loss may not understand how best to help. It's necessary sometimes to let them know what you need. Children of divorce are hurting and may not recognize your grief. It's fine to give them the bottom line, without going into detail, of why you need what you need. Be upfront about your expectations of them and let them off the hook for things that they may feel is their responsibility, but isn't. I have a child who sometimes takes on my emotions and tries to do what he can to shield me. He's a teenager. That's not his job and shouldn't be his worry. We've had several conversations regarding this because it's easy for him to forget he's allowed to be a child, growing into a man and not expected to be full-grown at his age.

 Reprioritize and Simplify – Purging your living space can be cathartic. Already a neat freak? Purging someone else’s living space can be cathartic too. Living in a clutter free environment, calms the mind and spirit. It's a two-part gift to yourself. There are many books and articles on the best way to do this. Try this chart from PopSugar  or this set of ideas from Love and Marriage.

 Journal – we’ve heard this a gazillion times, but have we really done it? I kept a list that I made (right after my former husband left) of all my blessings. I’ve gone back and read it several times. Each time I’m astonished at how I could find so many blessings during such heartbreak. With nothing as devastating as my divorce, surely, I could find even more blessings now. It’s healthy and productive to revisit gratitude lists and make new ones.

 Remember life is about relationships -- Consider becoming a pet owner. Unconditional love from a dog or a cat gives you something to focus upon other than yourself. Renew old acquaintances. Get caught up with that friend from seventh grade history class that you used to cut up with in the back row. Facebook makes that easy. Invest in your children's hobbies and interests. The bonding that can take place over a plate of cookies that turned out terribly is never a waste.

Don't postpone joy – Cross off an item or two on your bucket list. Take that cruise with the girls. Visit Paris with a family member and try every wine and cheese combinations possible. Need something a little closer to home like I do? I’ve always wanted to learn Italian.  It wouldn’t take much to sign up for a college class. One step closer to meeting that hot Italian actor, right?


Switch things up -- Who says Christmas or New Year’s must be celebrated the same way in the same place as usual? Rent a cabin and head for the mountains for Christmas. Instead of watching the ball drop on tv, watch it in person and have a rockin’ New Year’s Eve.

One year, as a newly divorced woman, I celebrated Thanksgiving with family members at a local, somewhat fancy restaurant. The food was good, but we had chosen a family style restaurant. Not a problem until we realized we’d be sharing a table with strangers and their family as well. Not quite what we had in mind. My family agreed, our usual tradition around my parents’ table was what we missed the most that year. Sometimes it takes a change in environment to make us appreciate our traditions. Lesson learned.

Focus on others -- Volunteer at a hospital, assisted living building or animal shelter. Maybe you are like I am and putting yourself “out there” is way out of your comfort zone. There are behind the scenes ways to volunteer too. Deliver meals, leave a washer’s worth of quarters to pay for someone else’s load, ring a bell for The Salvation Army, stock shelves for a food pantry, or really go behind the scenes and help out backstage at a Christmas play.

Invest in your faith – This seems like it should be a no-brainer. In the midst of the most heart-wrenching devastation, it’s easy to turn to our faith. Once things settle a bit and we feel like we are doing okay, our faith is the easiest thing to let slide. Yet, it’s the most important thing. We cannot continue to be faithful in honoring the Lord, if we aren’t faithful in maintaining our relationship with Him.

If nothing else, do the last suggestion. It truly is an investment for eternity. As a beloved family member reminds me often: It's either about Jesus, or it isn't.

Let's make it about Jesus, above all.


Interested in more thoughts On Being Divorced? Click here to view the series.

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Back Seat Storage for Your Pickup

4 Reasons You Need Secure Back Seat Storage for Your Pickup

Keeping items loose in your truck or trying to pile items in tubs can make the interior space seem cluttered and messy. Below are foViewur great reasons to invest in back seat storage for trucks.

Keep Important Tools Handy

Important tools like basic wrenches, liers, wire cutters, and hammer can all be at an easy access point by installing back seat storage for trucks. It works perfectly for full size and cab and a half models.You can choose from metal or wood styles.

Keep Items From Rolling Around Loose

The motion of any moving vehicle can make items that are loose go anywhere and everywhere when placed at floor level. You can find yourself tripping on tools or have them flying like missiles when you hit the brakes. Keep all of your loose items tucked safely in a secure storage bin designed for truck interiors.

Avoid Losing Items Out of an Open Door

Carrying items loose is one way to lose them permanently by having them drop out of the truck when stopped at a location. The loss is permanent if you don't hear the items fall to the ground. Keep them stowed safely in roomy back seat storage for trucks.

Securely Anchor Box to Back of Interior Wall

Each interior storage box is provided with the holes and hardware needed to secure it to the back wall of the truck. It will be handy to reach, yet safely out of the way. You never have to worry about the weather accessing your items like a bed storage box. You can stow everything from metal tools to sensitive paperwork.
You can add extra storage to the interior of your truck in painted wood, natural wood, or aluminum diamond plate design. All are designed to stow tons of important stuff with little effort.

Monday, November 5, 2018

Resource Ideas for Entrepreneurs

There are many different ways to work in our society, be it an onsite, 9 to 5 position or something more freelance or “for hire.” There’s absolutely something to be said though for a person who revs up their entrepreneurial spirit and creates a business of their own. Many people do very well these days by creating their own product line and selling it over the Internet. This type of product can range from art pieces sold over Etsy to a piece of creative writing, like a novel or book of poetry. Any of these things can be created and then sold online, and many people today are doing well with making an income this way.

Using Outside Resources

Today there are numerous online resources that can be used to help get a creative business going. Websites can be created as a sales center for a business, and social media sites like Facebook and Instagram can be used for interactive marketing. Youtube is another place that can be used to advertise a product for minimal costs.

Many business owners also use places like mailbox centers to handle some of the business tasks they need to deal with. These centers can provide services like document duplication, P.O. boxes and even a notary public in nyc. These business centers also can offer product fulfillment services. These services include taking product orders over email and then packing and shipping out the products to customers. The products can also be stored in a mailbox center warehouse, which frees up a lot of space in a business owner’s establishment. This is a big job that can be very time consuming for an entrepreneur, so having outside help that’s affordable for this service is hugely helpful.

No, running your own independent business isn’t simple but done well it can be a very gratifying way to work and make a solid income.

Monday, October 29, 2018

Football for the Father? Why Not!

football, field, give God glory,
"And whatsoever you do in word or deed, so all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him." Col 3:17

My oldest, The Cruise Director is nearing his majority and a senior in high school. That brings up a wide range of wacky, normal, and confusing emotions. And that's just on my part. Oh, boy, on his part . . . Well let's just say that there were many late night talks and venting sessions happening around here.

He played his first and only football season this year. It was challenging physically and mentally. I am so very proud of him and how he rose to the occasion each time there was a game or tough practice. I may or may not have had to use the tough love approach once or twice. In fact, when he wanted to be negative after one particular practice, I gave him a speech that he laughed at, but later admitted was effective. I may have channeled my inner Coach Chandler . . . I'm just sayin'

"I don't care if they put you on THIRD string or FOURTH string! You're gonna go out there and work hard. As hard as you possibly can. You can and will work your tail off as if you are fighting for a position on first string. Because at any time, they can change their minds and put you on first string! Do you hear me? And when they are down a man and they call you onto the field, you will be ready. Ready to show them that at any time you can jump in and kick booty in whatever spot you are needed. You are gonna go out there and make them sorry they put you on the bench and not the field! They're gonna scratch their heads and wonder why they didn't play you sooner and more often. You hear me? And if nothing else comes out of this, you will have the pride of knowing that you gave it all you got. You laid it all out on the field. And you did it, not for the coaches, not for me, but for yourself and more importantly -- The Lord!"

I'm sure the term "booty," would have been used in a completely different way in Friday Night Lights. And perhaps it wasn't entirely appropriate the mention in the same conversation as the Creator of the Universe, but you get the idea.

Whether that pep talk was as effective as I imagine it was or not, things turned around for him and played more than we expected for a first time player. He still had tough practices. Still had achy muscles and a weariness that only 10 hours of solid sleep could cure, but by golly, the kid had a great first and only season.

Sometimes all it takes is someone to believe in you. Someone to give you a bit of a push. A bit of a boost of confidence.

And maybe a melodramatic speech for good measure.

"And whatsoever you do in word or deed, so all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him." Col 3:17


Sunday, October 21, 2018

NYC - A trip for entertainment seekers

For people who love to enjoy live entertainment of the highest quality while also taking in a wealth of amazing cultural attractions, there’s just one city that really has it all: New York. New York City is a place of amazing excitement and legendary events. As the saying goes, “If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere,” and that saying continues to be true today. The world’s most talented writers and performers head to New York because of its amazing energy and because of the incredible opportunities this city provides.

An Actor’s Paradise

Actors from all over the United States have long seen New York as a beacon. This is the place to head to if you want to be a star on the Broadway stage. Great stars like Bette Midler and Barbra Streisand got started here, and they rose to the top and stayed there. The great performances that are available here on Broadway, off-broadway and in the Cabaret clubs are a big attraction for visitors, and it all adds up to a lot of excitement for those who love to see great entertainers, live.

Anyone who is planning a trip to New York should take a look at the nyc play reviews in advance, so they can plan on what shows to see. This is the best way to get the best seats and the best deals on tickets, so waiting till the last minute is not advised. Along with seeing a great show, there are also incredible dining options available in the city, so it’s smart to check out the restaurant scene near the theaters, so a whole evening can be planned.

No question about it, New York is truly one of the greatest cities on earth. This town offers art, music, and cultural attractions that are second to none. So, if you’re planning a trip soon, be sure to make New York your first choice.