Thursday, March 24, 2016

Dear Woman Who Had my Cell Number Before I Did

I understand that there are times when we forget to give our updated info to everyone who needs it.  But, after three years, I am still getting calls and voicemails for Crystal.  Three years, dear reader.  You would think that after a year or so a person would have made the rounds to doctor's offices, family members, and the like to have updated your info.

You would think.  Apparently Crystal isn't as courteous or thoughtful  as most people. I believe she is still giving out her old cell number to people.  I say that because I recently received a voice mail that asked Crystal to finish filling out her new patient info and I also received a voice mail from someone thanking Crystal for the "great time last night." What a treat to hear that at 3am!

So, I decided to write a letter to Crystal, the less than honest pre-owner of my cell phone number.


Dear Woman who had my cell number before me (aka, "Crystal"),

I have been receiving calls and voice mails for you for three years now. Please have the courtesy to update your info with the following people:

*Your GYN. By the way, your appointment (for July 2015) has been canceled due to an emergency.

*Your Pharmacy. You have three prescriptions due to be picked up and your insurance has refused to cover the fourth.

*Your YMCA. It's that time of year again! Renew your membership online or pay the new, higher rate.

*Your Psychiatrist. Time to get that new patient info packet into the office (by the end of Feb 2016) and set up a payment schedule. She's thinking Wednesdays will work better for her also.

*Your childhood best friend. She can't wait to see you in Oct 2014.



* Your fellow partier. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt by calling him that. But he wanted to thank you for a great time last night (March 2016).

*Your Dad. Please call him. He is worried sick that he hasn't heard from you in a year. Although, he was relieved to hear that you changed your cell phone number and haven't been just ignoring him all this time. Except not giving your dad your new cell number and not speaking to him for a year seems to indicate that you may, in fact, be ignoring him.

Just sayin'

Sincerely,
Not Crystal.

You may ask why I don't just get a new number. Fair question. I have considered it. But I don't want to end up like Crystal and miss all the great voice mails from all the important people in my life.  Surely, the calls and voice messages will let up soon.  Maybe? 

At least that is what I keep telling myself as I count it all joy,

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