Monday, December 5, 2011

Confessions of a Mercy Seeker



I have a confession.

I crave mercy.  I know I need it.  I want it and I seek it out when necessary and sometimes when I don't even need it, but I don't know it.

But my confession is that I have a hard time giving it.  I am a play-by-the-rules fanatic.  When everyone plays by the rules, then a clear winner is assured.  When you color inside the lines, you can't be called sloppy, even if your color choices leave something to be desired - at least you ain't a mess!

Are you hearing me, dear reader?

I have a cousin who loved to rock the boat.  All growing up he constantly asked, "why?" and was doing things that pushed the envelope.  He stressed me out every time we were together because I knew he was going to get into trouble.  And we all know what guilt by association means.  Right? Right! (BTW, he is the pastor that I talked about in my Whitney Houston Ain't Got Nothin On Me post.  Yeah, THAT cousin!)

I had a college theatre professor that was an incredibly aggravating boat rocker.  He insisted on grooming his favorites and left the rest of us non-boot lickers out in the cold, hard rain.  Nice guy.  Good Times.  No double major for me.

My husband likes to occasionally rock my boat.  And I don't mean that in the biblical way, if you catch my drift.  He sometimes just does it to see my reaction, but other times he is annoyingly contradictory because he actually feels opposite of the way I do.  The nerve.

“He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8)

Uh, huh.  There it is, dear reader.  Right there in green and white.  From the Bible itself.

Why do I have such trouble extending mercy?  Is it because secretly, deep down I don't feel like I deserve it?  Well, technically none of us deserves His mercy, but He gives it anyway.  And I am constantly awed by the fact that He does so.  And humbled that I constantly need His mercy.

You know the guy -- the guy in the Bible that said, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief" -- that guy?  I feel like the girl who will go down in history as reiterating, "Lord be merciful to me, help me to be merciful."

I am glad that the mercy He extends is not directly proportional to the mercy I extend to others.  Now THAT would stress me out.  And quite possibly make me a better person in the long run.

Oh, uh, hmmmm . . .

Counting it all joy,

5 comments:

  1. Can you imagine how horrible our days would be if it were all relative in God's mind?

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  2. Julie,

    Horrible is right! I cannot imagine living without His mercy!

    Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I appreciate your visit and participation in the discussion.

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  3. I think extending mercy is something that we all struggle with in one way or another. I think by acknowledging the fact that you stumble in this particular area will help you to grow.

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  4. I'm with Heather. It's hard.

    And that verse? Our family verse! :-)
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/iveyleaguemama/6104324619/in/set-72157625599740241

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  5. Thanks for stopping by and commenting Ivey League Mama! What a great verse for a family to hold onto.

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