(Thanks Mom and Rog)
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it
turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class,
because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
8. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.. The police
are looking into it.
9. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
10. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One
hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
11. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off
12. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is
now a seasoned veteran.
13. A backward poet writes inverse.
14. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism
it's your count that votes.
15. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of
16. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine.
17. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only
one carrion allowed per passenger.'
18. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the
other and says 'Dam!'
19. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a
fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again
that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
20. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my
electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies,
'Yes, I'm positive.'
21. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain
during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
22. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with
the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
Counting it all joy,