The Affectionate One has a birthday coming up. At this point, it's only a week away. For those of you who know her IRL (in real life), you will not be surprised to know that she's been planning her birthday since April.
That's right, I said, April. I've been hearing about her "fabulous beach party birthday bash" for weeks. The party hasn't happened, but it feels like it has. Every detail has been discussed to death. By her. To anyone who will listen. I think she's discovered my trick of pretending to be asleep whenever she enters the room. And she's no longer amused that whenever she says, "Mama -" I quickly reply, "She isn't here right now. Leave a message." (This is a trick I learned from The Calm One. It doesn't work for him either. But we think it's funny.)
Back to the girl . . .
The Affectionate One likes to be prepared and know exactly what is going to happen when. Which is why she's a bit of a list maker, my daughter. It isn't all surprising since her mother is a list maker also. And when I say Cherie is a list maker, what I mean is, she dictates and not-so-subtlety demands that mommy take copious notes.
Never mind that she cannot read. Which leads me to believe that the lists are actually for me, not her. I tried spelling things out for her, so she could make the list. I even made out the list so she could copy it so it would be her list. Her response was something akin to, "But, if you do it, then I don't have to."
What are her lists about? Let me enlighten you.
In list form. Because we, in the Jubilant household, roll mad deep yo.
1. Guests. Read as: The party participants. Because "everyone needs to dance, bring me a present, and tell me happy birthday." Not necessarily in that order. Thank goodness for a little leeway.
2. Games that will be played. Read as: Games other people will let her win.
3. Goodies. Read as: Food she insists that mommy and Aunt Michelle will prepare. Ham sandwiches with Miracle Whip (which she calls whip cream) tops the list.
4. Gifts. Self explanatory. The only unusual thing about this is that not only has she listed every gift she wants, but WHO is supposed to give her each gift. And she's requested that mommy make phone calls to inform the guests which present they are to bring. Yeah, like THAT is going to happen in this lifetime.
Well, now. Happy Birthday to her. And I hope it's a great one.
Heaven help us, if it's not.